A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one’s neighbor — such is my idea of happiness. ― Leo Tolstoy
What is the dream, exactly?
Most everyone dreams about not having to go to work. Holidays and and other breaks in the routine of the daily grind are looked forward to and cherished when they arrive. This dream is what drives the lottery players and those stuck in dead end jobs… “If I just didn’t have to work…”.
What would you do? The answer seems to be “I have no idea”, at least if this conversation is accepted as normal. Most people say watch movies, learn a language, read more… For the rest of your life though?
I believe this is one of the main obstacles that keep people from changing and living the life they desire. There is no clear definition of what you’ll do for the rest of your life, so you stay in your loveless job… you keep eating too much… You keep doing all the things you do because you don’t know what else TO do… We all talk about the dream. But what, exactly, is the dream?
Doug and I ran into this issue when we found ourselves hurt and sitting home… recovering… wanting to change our life but not knowing what to do. It was almost a physical pain trying to see past our current situation and decide what we want from life. We still don’t really know with clarity yet, but we overcame the roadblocks and make forward progress every day.
There must be goals
The first couple weeks of staying home after my injury were great! I didn’t get up at 4:30 am… I didn’t have to ride for over an hour to get to work… I slept in and did whatever I wanted. There was no structure and it got boring quickly…
I began making lists of chores… Basically, I went back to work. I was lost without my identity and my routine. I started to get depressed.
I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, what to do with work out of the equation, and my self esteem took a nose dive…
This is what keeps us doing jobs we despise… We ask ourselves, “What else would I be doing?”. If the answer is “I don’t know”, nothing will change.
I decided to think about what I want from life, career wise as well as just living in general. There was a blockage in my psyche when I tried to imagine a different life for myself… I finally managed to get some goals dragged out of my head, and to write them down:
My ideal life
If I didn’t have to work, I would begin creating every day. I would write and create art. My spiritual path would be something else I would expand upon.
If money wasn’t an issue I would travel more with my wife, since that is one of her dreams. We would spend more time in the Southwest. We’re both Easterners, and the Southwest is beautiful and exotic to us…
If I could do exactly what I want to do, I would write, I would create and I would help others to heal themselves.
I discovered that I want to create and to help others live creatively. Traveling is part of my dream too. My goal then, is to be able to create, be creative and help others to live creatively, and not be tied down while I do it.
Now I have actual goals to work towards. My efforts will be towards a positive, actualized vision of what I want to do besides the drudgery of a 9-5 “career”… If all I had was a foggy sense of “not working” as a goal unto itself, I would not have the incentive to work hard and try to achieve it. Sitting around watching Netflix is fun for a few days… After that, it feels like a waste of time and of life…
This blog is one step in my plan to reach contentment. I’ve found I enjoy interacting with others, and hearing about how my posts have inspired them. I am content right now…I just need to figure out how to turn this feeling into a path through life…
What would you be doing if you didn’t have to work, if money was not part of the equation? If you can figure this out, you’re a good ways along to knowing what you should be doing with your life. Ask yourself the following questions, and write the answers down:
- What would I do if I didn’t have to work?
- What would I be doing if money wasn’t an issue?
- What exactly do I want to be doing with my life?
Until you have answers for these questions, you’ll never change your life. We, as humans, don’t like change. Without something better waiting for us, it never happens…
- Top 10 reasons why we QUIT (wiseslacker.com)
- Keep On Dreaming, Even If… (alongthelightofday.wordpress.com)
- You must make a Choice to take a Chance to Change your Life (gabyarjunsharma.wordpress.com)