Three Years Since My Mom Passed Over.

But she wasn’t around, and that’s the thing when your parents die, you feel like instead of going in to every fight with backup, you are going into every fight alone.~ Mitch Albom, For One More Day

I realized that tomorrow, November 21st, 2013, will be three years since my Mother left her physical body behind. I come from a large family…I’m the youngest of five and our clan is swollen with nieces, nephews and grand children. My Mom was the center of the tribe…

I don’t know how we got through it, but we did. My Father lives with me now, and I expect tomorrow is going to be a hard day for him to weather.

Doug turns up in unlikely places!

Doug turns up in unlikely places!

We were looking through old photos the other day and found one of Doug, when he was a new monkey, and my Mom, when she was ill.

As strange as it may seem, the photo makes me smile. Yes, my Mother is not at her best, but I’ve dealt with that. I like the continuity this photo represents…

My Mother isn’t here to read my blog, but she knew Doug. There’s photographic proof. Way before I had the idea to make up stories about my monkey or write posts about him to help others he knew my Mom…

I forgot about this photograph. But now every time I look at Doug, I remember that my Mom held him, and that’s pretty cool.

young momDoug is helping lots of people around the world. Today, he’s even helping me…

My mother would be mortified to know I posted the above photo of her. To help soothe her spirit, here’s a picture of her when she was a beautiful teenager, not much older than my daughter… Now don’t haunt me Mom!






  1. A very moving post. My Mum went in 2004 and I felt like a middle aged orphan. It is nice that Doug was in her hands and now he’s in yours, like a connection.

    1. Thanks Claire. It was a pleasant shock to find this photo…

  2. I was from a family of 11 – not easy, hey? Believe me, I connect with deceased souls almost every day and Your Mom IS reading your posts and I can guarantee you that she is proud. If you would like to connect, let me know. It’s always my honor. And no, she is not mortified about the picture. She is proud to be part of the making of Doug Does Life. She is part of this blog’s life. Look at the way she’s holding him, like he’s a new baby! And then she passed him to you and look what you’ve done with him – you’ve grown him up ! GREAT JOB ! Oh, she’s giving me the thumb’s up ! 🙂

    1. Thanks Julie- It believe what you say is true… My Mom would be my biggest fan if she was still here… I was very happy to find the photo of her and Doug.

  3. I think your mom would be pleased to know that a photo of her even when she wasn’t at her best can still bring you comfort. For your readers, I think it’s actually rather an important thing to share a photo like that – when our parents get old and frail, it is hard. Actually, knowing that our own parents are not the only ones makes it easier, somehow. Makes it seem more like just another stage of life. And wow, yes, what a beautiful teenager! 🙂

    1. Hey Liz- Thanks for taking the time to comment. She was a beautiful woman. My daughter and my nieces, like Shanna below vvv take after her.

  4. Lol knowing her it wasn’t a thumbs up, it was the finger. Loved reading the post. I miss her every day too. My life hasn’t been the same since she’s been gone. My heart still aches

    1. Hey Shan- She’s still with us, as you know.

  5. Very sweet and kind gesture John to share these beautiful pictures of your lovely Mom with us, thank you.. She is now free of illness and by your side… How wonderful is that… I lived with my aunt until I was 15 years old, and she passed away when I was about 18. She was a mother to me and although I keep her very alive in my heart, I live regreating not having spend more time with her while she was in hospital…(I am still asking her for forgiveness!!)… Yes, the aches of the heart take a long time to heal…

    1. Thanks Gloria- I know she’s still here with me. Someone has to watch over my Father, because I’m not sure he can handle that job himself!

  6. I can see your Mom was beautiful throughout her life. Thank you so much for sharing. Sweet to know she knew Doug. Wherever she is, I’m sure she’s proud.

    1. Thanks Katie- I appreciate you taking the time to comment. It was a nice surprise to find the photo of her and Doug…

  7. People are only really gone when we stop thinking of them, when we allow their presence to leave our hearts. I remember both my parents. Everyday.

    Nice post, John.

    1. Thanks Michael- My Mom will never really be gone then, because my family and I hold her memories in the front of our minds. Thanks for writing.

  8. I was very touched by your post. I lost both my parents (separately to each other) when I was in my 20’s. In fact it was my mother’s passing that really put me on my spiritual journey properly, so I have her in a way to thank for all that I have discovered over the last few decades. There were times when I felt her (and at times my dad) very strongly with me. I don’t really sense her nowadays – I think she has moved on to bigger and better things! Even though that was back in the 80’s, I still think of her and the times we shared.

    1. Hi Penny- Thank you. I have my mother to thank for where I am spiritually now as well. I was always spiritual, but life got in the way. After my Mom passed I got serious about improving myself… I still see her in dreams sometimes,and when I make an effort to connect with her during journeys (as a shamanic practitioner)… Thanks for sharing your story.

  9. Gloria, i have connected with many souls who have crossed over (and soul who need help crossing over). There is no such thing has “forgiveness” in “heaven.” Once crossed, souls know EVERYTHING. They live in Love, Truth, and Heavenly’s Light and Joy. I experience this as they their essence comes into my body. People often ask for forgiveness and the response is always the same ” There is nothing to forgive.” There is no “lying” in Heaven, so you must believe it. But having the one-to-one experience is like none other. I had a horrible relationship with my Mom until she crossed over and connecting with her afterwards has been her greatest gift to me. I LOVE her so much, not something I would say during her Earthly life. And i know, now, that she Loves and did Love me, she just didn’t know how to show it. Remember what Jesus said on the cross: “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.” This applies to all of us. We are all lost at times, we are all in confusion at times. We all do things out of “not knowing what we are doing.” The only thing you need to do is forgive yourself. Much Divine Love to you.

  10. My dad passed away several years ago and I know one day my mom will also take that road. I don’t think it’s possible for me to ever forget them, there is so much about them both that has been instilled in me (in my mom’s case, still is). From my dad’s work ethnic to my mom’s cooking skills, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t do something, no matter how small, that hasn’t been either directly or indirectly influenced by them. Now I see my son with his son and he remarking how he is going to read him the “Hobbit” just like his dad did when he was little. It’s kind of neat to see how the tapestry of life is interwoven. Thanks for waking up a memory or two.

    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. My daughter was very close with my Mother and picked up some of her mannerisms. We all influence each other, and it is neat to see how this forms the fabric of our lives.

  11. Very sweet post. Makes me think about my ma, it’s nearly three years for me too, actually.

    1. Thanks… It’s hard to believe it’s been so long, isn’t it?

      1. It is hard to believe. It feels like time has sped up and my mind has slowed down, if that makes sense?

        She looks adorable in both pictures by the way 🙂

      2. Yes, we’re too close to family members to really see or know them clearly. That’s sad because we share such a history with them. But we all seem to see it in different ways.

        And yes, time has literally sped up. You mind slowing down is a good thing ! Blessings…

  12. that’s nice . . . my entire family were strangers to me . . . but moms are special even then . . .

    1. They always are…

  13. we were all younger once; special thoughts sent for your mom and you

    1. Thank you Eddie.

  14. Just over a year since I lost my mom…I’m sorry John for your loss, this is a wonderful post.

    1. Thanks Robin- Sorry to hear about your mom too… It’s something I never imagined I could handle, but I did…

  15. My Mom died in November too, a few years ago. Then my sister the next year also in November. I feel my Mother’s presence sometimes. She is smiling and happier than her last days in her body. I believe our Mom’s are watching us sometimes, when they’re not busy with their angel type stuff, or when we really need them. I believe they are proud of us- maybe even cheering us on! Your Mom looks like one smart cookie, in both her photos.

    1. Thank you. She was a smart cookie… I believe we’re being watched over. Sometimes I have dreams where my mother comes to me. Often it’s just everyday conversations that we have. They’re comforting…

  16. This is beautiful. Just beautiful. 🙂

    1. Thank you very much!

  17. nuclearmom · · Reply

    Those words fit perfectly. My father passed earlier this year and this has been one of the most trying years of my life. Every time I have to face some adversity, I feel like I’m all alone because he’s not there to call and keep my head on straight.

    1. It’s tough. For a long while any time something good or bad happened, my first thought was to call my mom…

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