Success Means Different things For Different People.

The rules of navigation never navigated a ship. The rules of architecture never built a house. ~Thomas Reid

Your rules of success are not for everyone

In our last post, Doug and I talked about defining our own personal rules to define success. Ideally, everyone should have their own standard of success, and everyone else should accept the differences of others. Unfortunately,this isn’t the norm, or even common…

Just as we don’t want others imposing their rules on us, we shouldn’t impose our standards on anyone else either. We’re all different, and we’re told we should practice tolerance… We should tolerate others. Tolerance implies we allow a deviation, as in machining parts for accuracy. Do we really want to just tolerate others?

I think acceptance is a better goal than tolerance. When we accept others and their standards, we start out from a place of equality. Acceptance implies that differences are normal, and are OK.

Butting heads

I don’t understand the motivations of the “average” person, and that’s fine. I can accept that we operate under different sets of rules. Conflict occurs when I expect them to think like me, or when the reverse is expected. Many people feel their way of thinking, their rules, are the correct set. This implies that everyone who doesn’t follow their rules is wrong…

Judgement doesn’t allow room for acceptance… At best, judgement allows a little space for tolerance… grudgingly. Differences often spark conflict, instead of being celebrated.

I enjoy interacting with others who hold beliefs different than my own. They often have a viewpoint I haven’t considered before. In an interaction that stems from acceptance, everyone involved  will leave with new insights and knowledge. If judgement is part of the equation, nothing more than hard feelings are likely to develop…

Success is creating the life you want
Success isn't always a red sports car...

Success isn’t always a red sports car…

Success is achieved when you define your goals, work towards them and live an authentic life for yourself. Everyone is capable of doing this.

We don’t have to give up part of who we are to allow others to be successful… All we have to do is let them be themselves.

Success doesn’t have to mean a red sports car, but for some people it does… That’s OK. Just don’t judge me because I drive an ancient Volvo.

Success to me is a reliable car that’s paid off, and I’m not afraid to haul the dogs around in it…

I love eating great meals and am willing to pay to do so. I don’t care if you eat frozen dinners so your money can be spent on shoes.

What’s important is living consciously… Defining your dreams and working towards them. Decide what you want, and do it. I’m starting to think life is really that simple… But you MUST decide, or the decision will be made for you… And then you’ll be living under the rules of success created by someone else…

How are you programmed?

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23 comments

  1. […] Success Means Different things For Different People.. […]

  2. great post ! I was just talking about “acceptance” today (rather than tolerance) Life does get simpler as we “accept” others for who they are!

    1. Thank you! I always appreciate a bit of synchronicity… It struck me that tolerance still comes from a place of superiority, which isn’t where I want to operate from.

  3. Love it! So true.

  4. A lesson I am learning too late in my life. Thanks for this post, my friend!

    1. It’s never too late Salvatore! At least you realize there is a lesson to be learned… Many don’t.

  5. When I meet people I’m inclined to hate or judge, I just think of them as a character. Every cast needs a variety of characters filling every role to be interesting. Real life isn’t different.

    Good post.

    1. Thanks Kevin. You should contact Netflix about producing an original series about your life, since you already have it cast… Nervous Cow Capers, or something like that…

  6. Nothing more to say, I agree 100% with you!!!

    1. Thank you Maria!

  7. Hey, John – Great post. I can remember when I consciously moved from judging others to learning to accept people as they are. I congratulated myself – and, rightly so. Then, one day it occurred to me that in my acceptance I was still not quite where I wanted to be. So, I decided to celebrate others. I’m still working on that one! With some people its easy – with others, not so much.

    Your post reminded me to get back on my intention of celebrating people and all of our differences. How boring life would be if we were all the same.

    Thanks, again, for a great post. Love, Pat

    1. Hi Pat- It is difficult to celebrate others all the time, especially when they stray far beyond our personal beliefs and standards… But I think that’s the point. We need to expand ourselves, and appreciate the differences. Like you said, life would, and does, become boring otherwise.

  8. You have integrity. I believe that is the one thing you take with you when you die!

    1. I agree… And integrity is what you’re remembered for, or for lacking it….

      1. Yes! But some people don’t have it, Therefore they don’t value it. I guess you are saying that others who have it recognize they who don’t have it. But you are so patient with people.

  9. Great post! I’ve been thinking about my own definition of success the last few months. For me it’s lots of money (of course), lots of love (including romantical), and days spent doing things that make my heart happy and my soul grow. 🙂

    HalcyonMusings.com

    1. Thanks! Good luck with your personal success… There’s room for everyone to be happy…

  10. You drive a Volvo? Shock, horror! Just kidding! I totally agree with you re the acceptance of others. At our discussion group yesterday we were talking about that very thing. We cannot force our opinions on the premise of believing our way is better – we need to accept that others are at a different point on their path, or in their life. This doesn’t make them wrong, just different, they see a different perspective to you, and it makes for more peace if we can accept that.

    1. Yes,twenty years old and still going strong…

      It seems more people are starting to accept that everyone is different, and has different ideas and motivations. I’m trying to internalize this so it becomes something I believe without thinking about it.

  11. […] Success Means Different things For Different People. (dougdoeslife.com) […]

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